2.4 Interview Tips

Shame, fear, pride, privacy, or distrust may prevent a survivor from talking about abuse. She may feel that she will be judged, or she may have concerns about privacy and confidentiality. Confidentiality issues are important to address early on in the lawyer/client relationship because of some victims’ tendency to believe that an abusive partner is omnipotent – in other words, that he has the ability to know where the victim is and what she is doing at all times and is connected to “important” people in the community.

The Power and Control Wheel is a good tool to help plan an interview.1  Work gradually toward direct, factual questions to elicit information, e.g., Are you afraid of him? Has he ever hurt you or threatened you? Has he ever pushed, hit, or kicked you? Has he ever put his hands around your neck when he’s angry?

Many women will minimize the abuse, or the effects of the violence on their children, as a means of coping or because it has become somewhat “normal.” One common way that victims minimize abuse is to describe it in terms that suggest mutual violence (e.g., “we were fighting”). Make sure to clarify these issues with follow-up questions.

Do not confuse futile retaliatory violence by a victim with “mutual conflict.” If a victim perceives that you will not believe she is a victim if she tells you the truth about her own conduct, you may miss important information. Most victims do get angry and do fight back. Be realistic about the fact that not all physical acts of resistance or violence against an abuser are self-defense. However, just because a victim has engaged in these normal reactions to abuse does not mean she does not need protection.

If you feel your client is minimizing the danger she is in, be honest and tell her that you are concerned for her safety and the safety of her children.

Never blame the victim. Respond to her in a non-judgmental way, and do not second-guess the choices that she made while trying to navigate or manage the situation she was in. If a client blames herself or makes excuses for the abusive partner’s conduct, do not ignore it. Tell the client that it is not her fault and nothing she did can justify the abusive party’s conduct. Even if she had cheated on her partner (as their abusive partners so often accuse), he has no right to harm her in response.   

Do not ask what she did to cause him to beat her. There is nothing about her or her actions that could prevent or justify the abuse committed against her.

Do not ask why she did not leave sooner or why she went back. If you need to find out information like this later to prepare for court, you can instead ask questions like, “During that time, did you feel like you had other options? Why not?” or “Can you tell me more about what was going on during that time in your life when you moved back in?”

Do not refer to the abuser by his relationship (e.g., husband, boyfriend). Refer to him by his first name or in the way the client says she wants.

The danger of death or serious injury, ongoing trauma, and the welfare of her children are the immediate “life” issues that the client faces. After the client knows you will handle her immediate legal needs related to these issues, explore all her legal options for safety, economic resources, and housing.

Do not interview a victim with a third party present. Although a victim may want to have a supportive friend in the room, she will lose confidentiality if you do so, and the friend can be deposed or forced to testify about what was discussed. Also, clients may not make frank disclosures of negative information with other family or friends present. The presence of new dating partners presents even more problematic issues that must be avoided. When leaving an abusive relationship, many victims are quick to enter another because it feels safer. But sometimes the new partner is also abusive, and the client has not yet realized the danger.

Do not be surprised if a victim focuses on issues in the relationship other than abuse when interviewed, such as the abusive partner’s infidelity.  Victims often feel very emotional about aspects of the relationship other than physical abuse.

Expect that clients may withhold “negative” information until you have earned their trust by showing that you do not judge them. It makes sense that victims will portray themselves in a favorable light when trying to get the help they need. After you have developed a rapport with your client over time, you may want to go back to ask questions about what things the abusive partner may try to use against her in court, whether or not true.

Do not make assumptions about the client’s credibility based on her emotional state while recounting the abuse, or her inability to coherently describe incidents or time frames. Some victims will recount incidents of abuse with an emotionless, flat affect, which can be a sign of trauma. Similarly, the more trauma survivor has experienced, the more likely it is that she will have memory gaps, confusion about the timeline of events, and difficulty providing distinct descriptions for individual incidents of abuse. For clients like these, the process of gathering information can require multiple meetings over time. To help build a logical chronology of events during this process, use prompts such as “was this before or after your daughter was born?” or “did this happen while you were living on Fern Street, or when you were in your current house

Clients can feel emotionally taxed and traumatized after recounting their experience of abuse. Make sure to allow them breaks, make them comfortable with drinks and food if needed, and even offer to take a walk with them if you can safely do so. A simple physical activity like walking can help reduce the physical trauma reactions that a victim is experiencing. And before ending an interview, take the time to transition the discussion to a topic that will help move the client out of the emotionally vulnerable space she was in while discussing the abuse she has been subjected to.