2.3 Communication Best Practices

For many clients, lawyers and the courts represent a painful and dangerous system that is frequently used to inflict profound harm on themselves and their communities. Your client may see you as part of that harmful system and may keep that opinion to some degree throughout the entirety of your working relationship. You may not have experienced harm from the legal system in the way that your clients have, but they are the expert in their experience and deserve the same respect and deference that any other expert would receive. 

In an effort to establish and maintain respectful relationships with clients, you should always explicitly state the reasons for any invasive inquiries and refrain from making any extraneous comments or inquiries. Clients seeking to make corrections to their birth records will be obliged to make public information that may otherwise be deeply private or even secret. Let your client know why you are obligated to inquire about certain private information and initially frame your questions in a way that allows the client to share to their comfort level. If clients are hesitant or unsure of the information you need, you may be more direct, but it is worthwhile to demonstrate a willingness to let the client lead before forcing them to share. Take note of the client’s current legal name as well as the name by which they desire to be addressed and ensure that everyone interacting with the client addresses them appropriately. Likewise, be explicit in making note of the client’s correct pronouns of address and ensure that everyone respectfully uses those pronouns when addressing the client. 

But, as the saying goes, “to err is human.” And while the saying may claim that to forgive is divine, as more earthbound lawyers, to apologize is true grace. Be candid with your client if missteps occur or if you are unfamiliar with the best steps forward. Take responsibility and apologize but understand that the client has no obligation to be forgiving. Your client may have years of dangerously negative experiences informing their decisions and behavior, and they have every right to choose to protect themselves rather than continue to work with a lawyer with whom they do not feel safe or respected. Lawyers deserve an opportunity to learn to be better, but our clients are not obligated to teach us or be our test subjects.